Gosh I'm tired. This may be a very short blog indeed.
I am downing fizzy drinks in an effort to stay awake, but I may not make it past 9pm. And it hasn't even been a difficult week. I've had a great week, but the combination of some very early starts, wide awake middle of the night moments and the demise of our lovely long hot summer have got to me.
I'm sitting on the sofa wearing slippers and a giant cardigan, with a small grey cat on my lap and a small snoring chug at my side. It's warm, it's comfy and I'm nodding off. My brain has also been utterly overloaded with politics, or whatever it is that has replaced poltitics, and I've been more or less glued to some form of newsfeed for the past month. I can't seem to turn it off in case something else happens. It feels like the early days of Big Brother, when it was good, when we stayed awake to watch the live feed after midnight, in case it kicked off.
I think I might need to switch off radio 4 and start listening to some random poppy shit station for a couple of days, but then Twitter is also acting like a food addict's enabler, sneaking me bonbons as I try and concentrate on sticking to my plate of salad.
At least it's Friday and I might have a boris-free 48 hours. Anyway, stop thinking about it, find some good news.
OK. Back in June I bought a new pair of sunglasses, they were fab, and they were going to rock me through the summer. But once I got them home I couldn't find them again. I searched the whole house but they were gone, and I never found them. I mourned them all summer.
Until today! On the 6th of fuckin September, the same day I put slippers and a cardigan on, I found my sunglasses in the lifty up bit in the boot of the car that no one ever opens until there's a flat tyre. And even then I would never open it, if I had a flat tyre I'd be straight on the phone to Mr Fix It whilst I google the location of the nearest Starbucks, where I could latte it out until until the car was fixed.
Yeah so, that's where my sunglasses were. I only found them by accident when I spotted a glimmer of shin black awesomeness when the flap of the lifty up bit got stuck on my laptop bag strap. But my joy was real nonetheless. I gleefully wore my sunglasses up and down the M23 today, even in the semi dusk and I looked fuckin fantastic.
And I will look equally fantastic every day throughout September, even in the darkest of rainstorms, because I will not let circumstance, misplacement or meteorology be the master of my destiny! Hell no!