Updated: Aug 25, 2019
Don't expect a lot tonight, I've spent what seems like the last month in the car and frankly, I'm a bit knackered.
It's odd how sitting still for long periods of time can tire you out, but there you are. Having driven 600+ miles in 48 hours, I now also appear to be stuck in an upright sitting position with my right foot at a permanent 45 degree angle, and have to indicate my intention to pass an other family member in the kitchen, and then shout profanities at them for not moving out of my way.
But anyway, I'm home and I now have a new talent. Having had my photo taken a lot, and having signed an official-looking and very probably legally binding form, I am delighted to announce that I am officially a 'model'. So I'm now strongly considering adding 'model' to my CV and list of skills, if only for the look of disappointment from any prospective recruiters or clients when I pitch up, as me. On the flip side, I'm not really sure I'm cut out for a full change of career as I can't walk in high heels, I gave up smoking Marlboro Lights in 1995, and the standard model's annual calorie intake would just about cover my breakfast. So all in all, I think I'll just keep it as a hobby.
Ooh, but before I hobble up the stairs with my right ankle at 45 degrees, I must just tell you about the family Boden.
So daughter and I stopped off on the way home for some dinner, and rocked up at Pizza Express at the same time as a family of 4 dressed entirely in Boden. I mean, not just an appliqué dinosaur t-shirt, full on head-to-toe Boden on both children, mum and dad. Mum, of course, had perfect Holly Willoughby hair, Dad had a hipster beard, stripy breton top and deck shoes. I mean really! The two kids, Oliver and Harry (surprise), approx 4 and 6, had over-long blonde surfer haircuts and colour matched shorts and tee combos and ate olives like they were maltesers. They were truly living the Boden dream.
I mean fair play to them, dress how you like, and if the look works for you, rock it. But sometimes it's important to develop your own personality and not just mail order one in.
My daughter, tolerant and lateral as ever, suggested that I was being overly judgemental. Perhaps, she said, there was another version of facts that I had chosen not to consider? In a Sliding Doors style workshop scenario, she went on to outline alternative suggestions.
1. The family were not a family, but a put-together montage of models, on an actual Boden shoot, featuring in a reality-style media marketing campaign which was being secretly filmed. She also added that if that were the case, we would look like very shabby extras.
2. They were a family from a deprived background, and the youngest son had spent their last £1 entering a text competition to try to change his family's fortunes for the better. Like a modern day Charlie Bucket, his golden ticket had been to win a year's supply of Boden clothes for him and 3 other family members, and this rare meal out was an expenses paid trip of a lifetime to Boden head office to collect and model their prize.
3. Finally, and perhaps the most logically, she suggested that Mum worked in the Boden factory and nicked loads of free stuff.
Either way, she put me to shame and challenged my preconceptions in the way only a teenager can.
I still think were really annoying though.