Santa baby, run a data cable under the tree for me
I’ve been an awful good girl, Santa baby,
and could you fix the chimney tonight?
Santa baby, a new calorifer too, light blue
I'll lock up for you, dear Santa baby,
When you fix the chimney tonight.
Think of all the arse I've kissed,
think of all the stroppy colleagues I won’t miss
Next year I might be good too,
if I finish that fecking asset list.
Santa baby, the balustrade is starting to rot, a lot
I’ve had no funding all year,
Santa baby, So shore up the chimney tonight.
Santa honey, one thing I really do need,
The deeds, for the gym, we’ll sell up
Santa baby, if we can’t fix the chimney tonight.
Santa cutie, can you do the banking for me, for free?
I’ve got some buckets of change, to cash
To pay to fix chimney tonight.
Come unplug those Christmas trees,
before they burn the school down like incendiaries
I want to believe in you, let's see if you can meet your targets too
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
Call me on the work phone
Santa baby, when you’ve fixed that chimney tonight.
WISHING YOU ALL THE VERY HAPPIEST OF CHRISTMASES AND A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR